Poignant Irrelevance

Tuesday, November 15, 2005

wonderment

did some back, a little shoulders. not many sets. just kind of some random stuff. some high rep some medium rep, just some random crap.

sometimes i feel my life is without purpose. some days it feels like things are missing. weekdays = i work, i come home, i'm tired, i eat and lift or run then i go to bed. get up early and tired go to work come home i'm tired eat lift email maybe talk on the phone a little go to bed tired wake up tired work come home blah blah blah.
lets say i wasn't even tired, then what? i don't even know. sometimes its just all empty and nothingness. something or some things are missing because this just can't be my winter. this can't be my winter of '05-'06. we need some kind of drastic changes to the routine. what, i don't know. how long will it take me to change up the routine? weeks? months? you ever have an idea of things you want to do and then a few months later all of those same ideas are still yet to be acted on? what is up with that? i don't even know what to do with myself some days. i'm not talking about switching tv watching with reading a book. i've done that in the past, hoping for some enlightenment but it never came, reading a book and watching tv are the same thing. reading blogs, watching tv, sending emails, they are all the same thing.

do people that have kids feel the same way? married? religious folk? non-religous folk? are we all sitting around wondering what in the h*ll we are doing with ourselves? sometimes i wonder.