faux light
i lifted chest and triceps tonight, flat bench again. still not as strong as i was earlier this summer. might take a couple more weeks to get there.
met someone for lunch that i havent seen in a few months. he commented right away that it looked like i had been lifting weights. ok then! that gave me motivation to lift hard tonight though, because maybe it does make a difference.
i want to try to get to bed early tonight. that is a tough challenge! during the day i dream about how great it will be to get to bed early but when i get home i don't want to go to bed. why would i want to go to bed at 9 when i can stay up for several more hours? its kind of a tough spot to be in. plus football is on, how can i shut off football?
nothing else really exciting is happening lately. except that other stuff, heh.
i'm almost 30. another month or so. trying not to think about it. it kind of depresses me so i choose to ignore it. i know, greatest years of my life ahead, blah blah. but i don't want to see my body slow down. i just want to be in my 20's for a couple more years ok? i guess its just a number.
but sometimes its hard to not look back and think of what could have been. i try not to do it but i'm only human. what i think about the most, actually what i regret the most, is working so much from age 25-28. i wasted those years under the faux light of an office building. i could've been having so much fun but i worked all the time. all the time. it is no surprise to me that i gained the weight back during ages 25-28 under the faux lights. i learned so much about myself, and i grew so much during those years, so it wasn't a complete waste i guess. but my memories from my life during those years are almost entirely work related. that's pretty sad. i honestly don't know if it was worth it. very tough question. no use in thinking about it but man its just so sad that i worked for almost 4 straight years of my life, and walked around like a zombie when i wasn't working. oh well.
i fear that i may still be working too much. i feel like i have learned the faux-light-lesson, but i fear that i am still missing out on too much. i am not doing a good job describing it, but you know what i'm saying. i try to push these thoughts from my mind but i think about it more lately, probably because i'm basically 30. it kind of freaks me out.
met someone for lunch that i havent seen in a few months. he commented right away that it looked like i had been lifting weights. ok then! that gave me motivation to lift hard tonight though, because maybe it does make a difference.
i want to try to get to bed early tonight. that is a tough challenge! during the day i dream about how great it will be to get to bed early but when i get home i don't want to go to bed. why would i want to go to bed at 9 when i can stay up for several more hours? its kind of a tough spot to be in. plus football is on, how can i shut off football?
nothing else really exciting is happening lately. except that other stuff, heh.
i'm almost 30. another month or so. trying not to think about it. it kind of depresses me so i choose to ignore it. i know, greatest years of my life ahead, blah blah. but i don't want to see my body slow down. i just want to be in my 20's for a couple more years ok? i guess its just a number.
but sometimes its hard to not look back and think of what could have been. i try not to do it but i'm only human. what i think about the most, actually what i regret the most, is working so much from age 25-28. i wasted those years under the faux light of an office building. i could've been having so much fun but i worked all the time. all the time. it is no surprise to me that i gained the weight back during ages 25-28 under the faux lights. i learned so much about myself, and i grew so much during those years, so it wasn't a complete waste i guess. but my memories from my life during those years are almost entirely work related. that's pretty sad. i honestly don't know if it was worth it. very tough question. no use in thinking about it but man its just so sad that i worked for almost 4 straight years of my life, and walked around like a zombie when i wasn't working. oh well.
i fear that i may still be working too much. i feel like i have learned the faux-light-lesson, but i fear that i am still missing out on too much. i am not doing a good job describing it, but you know what i'm saying. i try to push these thoughts from my mind but i think about it more lately, probably because i'm basically 30. it kind of freaks me out.
posted by brent at
8:09 PM
10 Comments:
Let's see...you appear to be successful....you are in great shape....you are young....you have your health......you are wiser than you were in your early 20's (one would hope) and you still have a lot of wonderful years ahead of you. 30 is grand! Happy Halloween.
By
D, at 8:55 PM
Now let's see a picture of your costume. Halloween rocks!
By
ida, at 10:07 PM
well, my attempt at going to bed somewhat early (11p) landed me wide awake at 3:45a which is why I'm at the computer at 4:00a! ugh.
You're not alone in your 30-is-approaching-what-is-my-life-like. Although I'm a believer in "30 is the new 20", I have several 30-somthing friends who experience this same phenomenon.
One of my life's philosophies is "no regrets." Live each day with no regrets. And if you happen to have a few years that include regrets, there's always a new day. Working so much during those years somehow shaped & molded you into what you are today. Just try to take something away from that experience as you start this new phase in life. Maybe write down your top 10 goals for the next 10 years as something to strive for. Congrats on getting through your 20s...IMO these are toughest years!
By
lainb, at 3:15 AM
I'm not going to lie to you, I felt exactly the same when I turned 30 a couple of years ago. In reality 30 is no different than 29, but it does sound different.
I also know what you mean about feeling your 20's gone by in the office. I spent my 20's in med school and residency working 90 hours a week. The things is, though, the people who were having fun then are now stuck in crappy jobs for the rest of their lives. Hopefully, our hard work pays off in the long term. (It's hard to think that way, but if you had goofed off, you'd be looking at the people that worked hard, and writing a similar post about why weren't you more like them!)
In the end of the day, 30 really is pretty young. (I keep wondering when I'll feel like an adult!) And if nothing else can cheer you up, at least you got 3 of the "other stuff" going on at the same time!!!
By
Danny, at 8:01 AM
You maybe wanna work less? Get thee a government job. Guaranteed 8-hour day.
And speaking as someone who has been 30 for about 6 months now, I can say that it's all good on the other side of 29. For me, so far, the interesting thing is that I seem to be thinking about my future and my goals with much more intention that I ever have before, which while difficult, feels right.
There are tons of amazing athletes in their 30s, 40, 50, etc... I think our bodies are like little hibernating animals, just waiting for the signal to wake up and really show us their latent talents.
By
Megan, at 8:11 AM
Feeling regretful about wasted time is just as bad as the time wasted. No reason to lament the past, especially when you are taking such amazing strides to enjoy the now. I'm turning 30 next summer. This is a time of reevaluation. A time to let go of those things that don't fit with our idea of how we want to be as we become adults. You are doing a great job, it can only get better. Good for you for recognizing and making the necessary changes.
By
Syd, at 8:17 AM
Just keep telling yourself that everything that's gone before has brought you where you are today, so it's all good. Regrets just waste valuable time you can be out in the world, enjoying life!
(How's that for post-30 wisdom???)
By
Denise, at 12:50 PM
Speaking as someone who has been 30 for like 20 years now....
Its great enjoy and never look back. Enjoy life. 30 is just a number. Ya know at 39, I thought about turning 40 and said no big deal. At 49, same thing. Hopefully at 59, I won't freak out but so far so good...lol.
Life is yours for the taking, no matter the age.
By
Dawn - Pink Chick Tris, at 1:35 PM
I had another thought.... one thing about working hard is that all that money means you can play hard, too! I see a ski or European vacation in B-man's future.
By
Megan, at 2:53 PM
I think 30 is the new 20, especialy in the shape you're in now. I'm actually really excited about turning 30 (in 2 yrs), I think it's going to be awesome.
So what do you do for a living? I'm fed up with OT myself. If a bus ran me over tomorrow they'd just hire someone else to do this crap and move on with their lives. Everyone who sits around me works 7 hrs and 59 minutes a day and goes home. I know they make a lot less than I do but I'm seriously considering taking a 'lesser' job next year so I can have more time. How much "stuff" do I need anyway? I'd really rather have the time at this point in my life, and we don't even have kids yet (and AREN'T for a LONG time).
By
Rae, at 6:24 AM
Post a Comment
<< Home