burgers and fries and strawberry shakes

i ate so poorly this weekend. i dislike writing about it because then i moan and complain about how much i suck. and then you know i have failed once again but that shouldn't matter because i know i failed anyway. but i have to write about it sometimes. i'm training for a stinking race for crying out loud and yet my brain thinks, "well its only Week 1 so its ok if you eat that candy today ok? why don't you start on monday, its ok, go on ahead and eat that junk. go on and order a #2. go on, do it DO it DO IT DO IT!!!!!!!!" i am so weak. i get so overwhelmed with how to start over. where do i start this time? what did i do wrong before? what did i do wrong before that? and that? why do i suck?

you noticed i stopped writing about food. yeah, that can't be a good sign. i think i'm so full right i don't even want to go to sleep. if i stay awake, i won't have to go to sleep and then wake up and feel all crappy about myself and what i ate this weekend. yesterday i went to bed at 2am, and its 1.30am currently. Edit: its 2.40AM.

i have good foods in the fridge now though so i have ammo to start my new clean eating. i'm so sick of eating like that but its going to stop RIGHT NOW. i'm kind of under a lot of stress from some other schtuff right now and i do believe that i buckled under the pressure. not cool.