i feel like i'm only doing just enough to get by. i don't know what it will take for me to really make a difference. i feel like i'm floating along on a strong moving current; the current is easy, the current is powerful, the current moves me along. it takes effort to keep myself in the current, but i do not guide the raft. i set the alarm clock, it blares in the morning, i turn it off, i go to work, i come home, i set the alarm clock, it blares in the morning, i turn it off.