It was warm out today, I ran outside again.

today's run was 3 miles. i tackled the big neighborhood hill for practice. i walked a bit at the top though. the hill felt good to me, a breath of fresh air. a welcomed battle. it is rewarding to run up to the top *cue rocky music* *cue arms raised in the air* yes, i think i will be doing that again.
i forgot how much work setting my own pace can be after relying on the treadmill all winter.
1. 9:58 pace
2. 9:46 pace
3. 10:00 pace
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protein bars and diet dew go together.
today is day two without dew
and day two without a protein bar.
it just wouldn't be the same.
odd how we associate certain drinks with certain foods. i find myself snacking less when there is no dew to wash it down.
it just wouldn't be the same.
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when i am tired and grumpy, feeling self conscious and fat, i will run anyway. some people can't run. i will try not to take that for granted. sometimes i think about my friend who died from cancer when i run. he can't run any more. i can run, i will run for him, yes i will run. i will run for me too. seeing his wife crying at the showing was one of the worst moments i've ever been through in my life. i did all i could to keep myself from breaking down and crying. i felt so bad for her. he was so young. they were together for such a short period of time. and they were so in love. it killed me. the worst part about it, i do not talk to his family at all anymore. it hurts so bad. i just feel so bad for them. it has been several years; i really should talk to them anyway, see how they are doing.
on a similar note i read this article today. it was a reminder to live life to its fullest. sometimes i struggle with living life to its fullest. i get lazy. i very much dislike that; i am working on breaking through those barriers though. anyway, here are some exerpts..

A Legend's Letters: Lou Gehrig's Writings Reveal His Last Days
By JONATHAN EIG
March 29, 2005; Page A1

On the field, he was one of the greatest first basemen the game has ever seen, a powerful figure whose career spanned the Yankee dynasties of Babe Ruth and Joe DiMaggio. Off the field, self-doubt dogged him. He lived with his parents until he was 30 and often invited his mother to accompany the Yankees on road trips. He cried in the dugout when he thought he had disappointed his manager. He had confidence in his physical powers and not much else.

As ALS took its grip and Mr. Gehrig's muscles melted away, however, he displayed new strength. In his most private moments, writing letters he must have assumed no one but his doctor would see, he showed the sort of courage that had for so long eluded him.

"As for myself," he wrote to Dr. O'Leary in January of 1941, in one of his final letters, "it is getting a little more difficult each day and it will be hard to say how much longer I can carry on...I don't mean to be pessimistic but one cannot help wonder how much further this thing can go and I wish you would again drop a note as to your thoughts and percentage of making a proportional recovery. I also understand how difficult this is."

In the same letter, he wrote:

"Don't think that I am depressed or pessimistic about my condition at present. I intend to hold on as long as possible and then if the inevitable comes, I will accept it philosophically and hope for the best. That's all we can do."

He died five months later, on June 2, 1941.

he was 37.


Lou Gehrig